There is so
much literature out there telling parents what to expect and how to prepare
themselves for parenthood, so many ideas for how to be a parent. You can follow
the archaic ideas of Dr. Spock or the new age ways of Dr. Sears, live by What to Expect or follow the doctrine of
Parents magazine. I decided to gather
information from as many sources as possible and follow my gut, do whatever
felt right. I never expected my newborn would be the one to tell me the correct
way to parent her.
I read numerous places that a
particular parenting style will not work for every parent or every child, but
what I think they meant to say is that every parent-child combo will have their
own, perfect method of parenting. The methods I employ with my daughter are
very different from those used by her father, even when we are in agreement and
parenting together.
I had a lot of preconceived ideas of
how I would parent. Attachment parenting sounded unhealthy, for the child and
the mother. Self-soothing sounded like a great idea. I thought there would be
ample time for schooling, writing, cleaning and some freelance work. We would
get on a schedule right away, I thought, and settle into this new life and
mother and child. The idea of co-sleeping seemed close to insane, why would
anyone want to share a bed with something so small as a newborn, risk their
lives every night like that? Nearly every thought I had was wrong. My baby
showed me the way, she taught me how she wanted me to raise her. I just had to
listen to her cues and pay attention to what she was trying to tell me.
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