Sunday, April 1, 2012

Where this idea came from


There is so much literature out there telling parents what to expect and how to prepare themselves for parenthood, so many ideas for how to be a parent. You can follow the archaic ideas of Dr. Spock or the new age ways of Dr. Sears, live by What to Expect or follow the doctrine of Parents magazine. I decided to gather information from as many sources as possible and follow my gut, do whatever felt right. I never expected my newborn would be the one to tell me the correct way to parent her.

            I read numerous places that a particular parenting style will not work for every parent or every child, but what I think they meant to say is that every parent-child combo will have their own, perfect method of parenting. The methods I employ with my daughter are very different from those used by her father, even when we are in agreement and parenting together.

            I had a lot of preconceived ideas of how I would parent. Attachment parenting sounded unhealthy, for the child and the mother. Self-soothing sounded like a great idea. I thought there would be ample time for schooling, writing, cleaning and some freelance work. We would get on a schedule right away, I thought, and settle into this new life and mother and child. The idea of co-sleeping seemed close to insane, why would anyone want to share a bed with something so small as a newborn, risk their lives every night like that? Nearly every thought I had was wrong. My baby showed me the way, she taught me how she wanted me to raise her. I just had to listen to her cues and pay attention to what she was trying to tell me.

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