Where do baby's needs end and structure begin?

Lately I've had a lot of people telling me I should be in control of baby girl's sleep schedule, and I should ignore her telling me she's tired so I can put her on the schedule I want her on. That just seems crazy to me. Even boyfriend has told me I need to control when she sleeps and for how long. Doesn't it make more sense that if she's tired, she sleeps? After a week of testing their theories- they all said it would help her take longer naps- I am going back to my way.

I spent last week keeping baby girl awake longer than she wanted in hopes of getting her on a one nap schedule where she would nap for an hour or two. Instead she was just over tired and extremely fussy. Every time I put her in her crib at nap time she woke up, when we went to bed at night she was waking up every 20 minutes or so until about 4 am. We were both pretty miserable.

Yesterday I let her nap when she wanted to, and when she woke up she got up, I didn't try to force her to sleep longer than she wanted. She was the happiest she'd been in a week. And when she went to bed, she slept for 5 hours before waking up to nurse. This morning she was ready for a nap in about an hour after waking up, and since I let her sleep instead of keeping her awake she slept for almost an hour instead of the 10 minute naps that I'd gotten used to.

My only concern with this is that when she goes to school, she can't just nap when she's tired. I know, this isn't for years...but time flies! I know that this is why a lot of people who parent like I do end up homeschooling, or unschooling, their children. I find that idea very intriguing, but I also think it's very important she go to school to spend time away from Mommy and with her peers.

So how much freedom is too much? Where should I implement structure...or when? I very much think it's silly that parents feel they need to decide everything for their children, but I know she can't make every decision for herself.

I guess I just wanted to tell you other mommies out there that you don't NEED to force your baby onto a schedule. They know when they're tired. They know when they're hungry. They know when they want to play with you and when they want to be left alone. Treat them like people, respect their wants and needs, and you'll all be much happier. And I'm not saying to stop parenting, obviously it's our job as parents to get our children ready for the world and keep them safe.